Long distance relationships are taking place all over the world all the time. They’re nothing new. Some involve being separated by country borders and oceans, while others may find themselves apart within their own country. In this post we are going to be looking at how to do a long distance relationship. This post won’t be about emotion. It’ll just be offering a few practical tips to make it all a little bit easier.
If you are a foreign man looking to find love with an Asian woman, early on in your relationship, chances are the two of you are going to spend some considerable time apart; at least until one of your gets a residency visa to live in your partner’s country. Usually the Asian lady will move to the country where her man lives, but sometimes it’s the other way around.
There’s No Avoiding Periods Of Separation
In most cases when a foreigner meets an Asian woman and starts a relationship, there’s usually no avoiding periods of separation. That is, unless you’re financially independent and are free to travel to their country whenever you please. Even if you are in this position, chances are you will still want to return home and be around familiar people and surroundings for a spell. Yes you could bring your lady with you on a tourist visa, but depending on what country you live in and where she’s from, she may only get one visitor visa per year.
Just keep this fact in mind if you are thinking about, or actively looking for, a partner from this part of the world.
Acceptance Of The Situation
As soon as you both come to accept the situation of the relationship for how it is, the better you will deal with it. Be conscious and aware of the fact that there may indeed be a long road ahead before you are finally together “properly”, living in the one country and legally being able to do so. Be grateful for the love and companionship you have found and together work towards that glorious day when you never have to separate ever again.
Plan When You Will See Each Other Again
Even though you might have to be apart at times, if you have a definite plan as to when you will likely see each other again, it can make those periods of separation that much easier to deal with.
Think about the opposite scenario, where you have no plan or no idea when you will next be together in person. How is that going to feel? It’s almost going to feel like you will never see each other again.
So, even if the plan has to change or be adjusted down the track, always have some idea when you will be getting together again. It creates a goal to work towards, gives you both something to look forward to, and you’ll probably see each other sooner rather than later if you have a plan.
Making Sure You Can Stay In Touch
One of the things I’ve done is buy a Filipino phone, just a cheapy, with a prepaid SIM card. You don’t really need to keep load (credit) on it. When I go back to Australia I set it to roaming. My wife can then text me on this phone for free, as that’s part of her phone deal. She is with local Filipino phone company Smart and so is my phone. The deal I have for my Australian phone let’s me send as many international SMS per month as I like, so I can text her back on my Oz phone for free. This gives us a way of always being able to stay in touch wherever we are at the time. And best of all it costs us nothing.
If you can make certain she has at least a reasonably reliable internet connection and an iPad or some way she can use a video chat platform such as Skype, then do it. When you are apart there’s nothing better than to be able to video chat with your lady. You’re already missing being with each other in the flesh. At least with video chat you can see each other, watch each other’s movements, see each other smile, as well as talk. It’s so much better than a mere phone call or text message, and so much more interactive than an email.
Focus On The Overall Goal
If the ultimate goal is to get married and live together either in your country or hers, then always keep that goal in the forefront of your mind. This will not only keep you focused, it’ll also help you to stop pining after your love, keep you positive and allow you to take steps toward that goal. Nothing is impossible, and if you love each other enough you will both find a way to make that goal a reality.
Be Happy And Optimistic
The whole idea of searching for love abroad was for both of you to find happiness, so if you are forced to be apart for a time, try and remain happy, optimistic and positive. You will get there. And in the meantime you have a special relationship even if you are apart. Keep positive no matter what and be grateful that you have finally found each other.
It’s Your Decision
While friends and relatives may mean well, and sometimes their opinions and advice is both wanted and warranted, at the end of the day this relationship is both yours and your partner’s decision. Even though it may seem hard at times not being able to be together every day in the beginning, don’t let anyone put you off pursuing your relationship if it’s truly what you want.
I hope you’ve found this post helpful. If you have any thoughts to add or want to ask a question, please comment below.